T-SQL Tuesday #163 Invitation – Embrace Your Style!

Welcome back to reading another T-SQL Tuesday for June month. This month’s invite is from my dear friend Gethyn Ellis asking us to write about the best career advice we received. Here is the invite.

I would like to list some of the best advice I received in my life which helped me rethink life. They give me the strength to see past the pain and help me move forward in life.

Embrace your Style but wait, What is your Style?

This is the best career advice that I received from one of the best people in the community. I can’t thank them enough for this advice. This is about two years ago when I started my blogging and speaking career. As I was fairly new to speaking, I struggled to find out what my style was. Style in the sense of bringing your true authentic self onto the stage. Fear of being judged and accepted by the community stopped me from being who I am at the time. I didn’t even realize this for so long. I thought everything was normal but something inside me was always telling me that I was not good enough. Something needs to change but I didn’t know what it was until some special people from the community told me that I have my own style and it is just that I need to figure that out.

I was confused at the beginning about what this style even meant but as I tried to understand more, I finally realized what it actually mean. Your style is nothing but showing who you actually are, truly and authentically. Everyone will have their own style. In every little thing you do, you will have your own mark on it. The way you do things is your style. Are you doing your best but still feel you lack something? No matter what, the way you do things and the way you present can give a unique and add your perspective to it which in itself shows the beauty in the work you do, which is your style that no one else can do other than yourself. The moment I realized this, I started embracing the way I look and do the things in life. I added my perspective to the things I present which are unique and there will be people who love this or may not love this but you will have your own mark which will attract the right audiences to you. There are always people who wanted to learn from your perspective.

This applies to many things in my life including my blog posts, my presentations, the way I speak at conferences, and the way I act and think in life. I accepted who I am and started embracing the authenticity in me. I started speaking from the bottom of my heart. I was scared to do this before in fear of judgment but as I started speaking for what I felt, people actually started liking me even more because they saw the truth in what I speak. By choosing to live this way, we can make genuine connections in life and value the ones who stick around valuing who we are.

This is a great lesson I have learned in my life.

2. If you are troubled by external circumstances, it is not the circumstances that trouble you, but your own perception of them and they are within your power to change at any time. ~ Marcus Aurelius

In life, most of the things that happen to us are outside of our control. The problem gets bigger and bigger when you try to control what you can’t control. If we can only differentiate every event that happens to us into two categories, what is in our control and what is out of our control, most of the problems will be solved.

Focus on only what is in your control and leave the rest. Most of the time, what’s in your control is how you react to the events that happened to you. That’s the only thing that you can control. This is one of the Stoic philosophy principles that I learned recently.

3. Going within self is the only solution

What does this even mean, right? Most answers that you are searching for from outside of yourself are found within yourself. When you fail at something or you are facing a situation in life, for example, you want to resign from that job you are unhappy about but something inside you is stopping you from taking action – Going within yourself is the only solution to learn about yourself, what actually is stopping you and what can be done to remove that fear. Asking for help is a great idea when you are facing a situation in life but we need to first help and stand up for ourselves by examining ourselves what is the actual problem. Other people can suggest you but it is up to you to decide what is right for you.

I am not a philosopher to show off as if I identified something in life which was not there before. These are all the things I have been learning from the greatest philosophers in the history of mankind. I just thought of sharing them with you all as I felt it was the right time and topic for this month’s T-SQL Tuesday.

These all things I explained here apply to every part of life, professional and personal.

I would like to thank Gethyn for bringing this topic to June month of T-SQL Tuesday. I believe that I shared some of my learnings that really helped me in every aspect of my life.

Hope you liked it and thanks for reading!